Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Let's Talk: Body Image

I've been saving this topic in the back of my mind until I was ready to discuss it. Today is that day.

As many of you know, growing up, I was always a heavy-set kid. My problems with weight followed me into my teenage years and my early 20s. If I was hungry, I ate. If I was sad, I ate. Angry, depressed, excited? Yeah, I ate during those times too.

High school photo - I'm in the middle
Almost at my heaviest weight - Tulsa, 2005

On the left - Fall Ball, 2003.  See the girl on the right?  She lost a lot of weight too....wait till you see her picture!
Six years ago, I decided enough was enough and I joined Weight Watchers. One year and 70 pounds later, I reached my goal weight and felt on top of the world. It was one of the most amazing times in my life.
My best friend and I

Here's my friend from a few pictures above - both of us lost a lot of weight!
In 2008, I was married and was happy that I didn't have to lose weight for my wedding. It was one less stress I had to endure. Sounds funny saying that losing weight would be a stress, but every girl wants to look her best at her wedding, right?

Wedding Day, 2008
Two years later, I announced that I was having a baby and my body began to change. I promised myself I would enjoy every second of the pregnancy and wouldn't freak out about my weight gain. I didn't give much thought about my weight and ate my way through the pregnancy. Imagine my "surprise" when I realized that I wasn't, in fact, giving birth to a 70 pound baby. Oh, and when people say that the baby weight comes right off? Well, they didn't have my body.

Around 8 months preggo

With my nephew 2 months post baby, Christmas 2010
This long story leads me to a point, I promise!! You see, I still have 18 pounds to lose before I get to the weight I was when I made my lifetime goal at Weight Watchers. To me, 18 pounds sounds huge, and looking at my body post baby, I don't think I'll ever look the same as I did all those years ago.

I still feel as if I have a ton of weight to lose, even though I changed my goal weight at Weight Watchers based on my height and age (10 more pounds until I'm officially back at the new goal!). My pre-pregnancy clothes are more than snug and I have my moments where I want to throw my hands up in the air and give up.

Hubby, Little guy and Me at little guy's birthday party, October, 2011
And then, something happened. I was at a family party two weeks ago and my grandmom made a comment to me. She said "Anne Marie, you look great - you're really losing weight." Funny thing is, my grandmom reads my blog, and I'll bet money on it that she doesn't realize how much that comment meant to me. It made me step back and realize how far I've come, and how when I look in the mirror, all I see are those pounds I have to lose. My body image is distorted, and very much so. My grandmom made me realize that even if I never fit into those really skinny jeans or heck, if I stay at the weight I am now, it doesn't matter.  I look great.  My body did an incredible thing - it gave birth to a baby.  At the end of the day, the number on the scale is just a number.  Self worth? That's worth everything. Truly seeing things for how they are - that's success.

So today, I ask you to do something - check yourself out in the mirror and remember that you are beautiful. You are amazing, and you are worth it.

Question of the Day:
What do you like about yourself?

Until next time!
~Anne Marie