Monday, April 13, 2009

Indulging and Understanding

I just don't get it. Or rather, I do get it, I just don't understand why I respond the way that I do. Over the past two weeks, I've noticed an extreme tendency to overeat and indulge after dinner. I was raised in a family where a meal wasn't complete until you ate dessert. It's a nagging sensation after I eat every meal and yet, even though I know I will be more miserable after eating dessert when I'm not hungry, I do it anyway. Ending a meal with dessert mentally makes me feel better for a fraction of a second, and then the guilt sets in.
I had been doing well for awhile - trying hard to listen to my body to tell me when I had eaten enough. I even had a lot of success when I listened and opted for dessert only when I was truly hungry. I felt better about myself and my appearance. I didn't over analyze every bite that I put into my mouth. Lately it seems that I am starting down the path with no self-control at all. The strange part about this entire situation is that when I eat dessert, it's not chocolate, cookies or ice cream....it's a mix of cottage cheese or soy yogurt with almond butter, raisins or nuts. My lesson learned is that even if what I'm eating for dessert isn't as caloric as some other choices, my body doesn't need it, and it will make me gain weight and feel badly about not listening and trusting myself.
Despite the lesson learned, the negative thoughts and physical effects this has taken, I still need to challenge myself to truly listen and not to jump up from the table the second that dinner is done so that I can have dessert. For me, it's a complete and total mental game.
Does anyone else have similar experiences or suggestions? I'm completely open to them!
Until next time,

~Anne Marie

3 comments:

justine said... Best Blogger Tips

Hey Anne, I totally understand what you have been feeling. Mine has also kicked up lately. I hate to use the word but I have been having "binges" at least once a week for the last few weeks. Like you, except for yesterday, its been with pretty healthy foods just a lot of it. I was discussing it with someone else and we decided its like a "trance" you get in. You are aware of the harm but you just cant stop. For me I just feel kinda numb during it. I wish I could help but I am struggling myself. If you feel like "indulging" send me a quick email and maybe we can talk it out.

~Justine

healthyambition said... Best Blogger Tips

Hi Anne

I can completely sympathise with how you feel and the guilt your referring to - but I don't think you should be feeling it!! There is nothing wrong with ending a meal with a healthy dessert! I eat some kind of dessert-thing every night after dinner.
I doubt I've said anything really helpful, but I think you need to stop being so hard on yourself.

Ash

Anne Marie said... Best Blogger Tips

Hey Ash,

Thank you so much-I really appreciate what you had to say! I agree, there is nothing wrong with ending with a healthy dessert. Most times, though, I stuff myself with it, and I think that's a big part of my problem.

I also agree with you-I am my own worst critic!